Chef Joseph’s Useless Wine Factoids

Useless Wine Factoid

Useless Wine Factoid #1:

The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.

Proudly doing the Lord’s work since November 2011!

Useless Wine Factoid #2:

A beer lover or enthusiast is called a cerevisaphile.
A wine lover or aficionado is called an oenophile.

I prefer to call them friend.

Useless Wine Factoid #3:

In our Bicentennial Year of 1976, the world was shocked when two Napa Valley wines bested the top French wines in Paris at a blind tasting judged entirely by Frenchmen,
all wine experts!
Over three decades later, it is now only surprising when French wines win at similar events.

Two words people: Freedom Fries.

Useless Wine Factoid #4:

The Manhattan cocktail (Whiskey and Sweet Vermouth) was invented by Winston Churchill’s Mother.

My Mother? She liked the Amaretto.

Useless Wine Factoid #5:

Contrary to belief, smelling a Cork reveals little about a wine. Instead, look for a date or other identifying info; look for mold, cracking or breaks to reveal truths about the wine.

Speaking of Corks, someone who constantly talks about wine is called a “Cork-tease”. Just sayin’.

Useless Wine Factoid #6:

Once opened, a bottle of wine will stay palatable five to 15 times longer if it’s stored in a refrigerator rather than at room temperature.  Also, if you want to keep Champagne bubbly in the bottle after opening, drop a spoon in the bottle and refrigerate.  This will keep it bubbly for an extra six hours!

If you have questions about boxed wines, God help you…

Useless Wine Factoid #7:

Sacramental wine is available as Red, White or Amber.  The only style no producer appears to make:  Sparkling.

Bubbly would be like offering a bagel instead of a wafer…

Useless Wine Factoid #8

According to a study by Moet and Chandon, there are 25,000,000 bubbles in a bottle of Champagne.

The study cost $7,000,000, of which I have received only a minor portion to pass this information along to you.


Useless Wine Factoid #9

Researchers say they are only 12 to 18 months away from perfecting a system to prune grapevines using a Robot.

There is also, a Wine Tasting Robot.  When a reporter stuck his hand in it’s mouth he was identified as Bacon.

A fond “Welcome” to our wine picking, pork loving Robot Overlords!

Useless Wine Factoid #10

When wine and food are paired together, they have “synergy” or a third flavor beyond what either the food or drink offers alone.

When you add music and friends, invite me!

Useless Wine Factoid #11

The prohibitionists in the early 1900’s fought to remove any mention of wine from school texts, Greek and Roman literature, the United States Pharmacopoeia and to prove Biblical praises of wine were for unfermented grape juice.

Temperance anyone?  I didn’t think so.

Useless Wine Factoid #12

Plato argued that the minimum drinking age should be 18 and then wine in moderation may be tasted until 31.  When a man reaches 40, he may drink as much as he wants to cure the “crabbedness of old age”.

In other words, Plato argued that you should get off my back!

Useless Wine Factoid #13

The first known reference to a specific wine vintage was made in 70 A.D. by the Roman Historian Pliny the Elder who rated 121 B.C. as a vintage “of the highest excellence”.  It was almost 200 years old!

My wines shelf life is like, a week!   Geesh!

Useless Wine Factoid #14

European wines are named after their geographic locations (e.g., Chassagne-Montrachet Morgeot and Bordeaux) while non-European wines (e.g., Pinot Noir and Merlot) are named after different grape varieties.

Still, I think Walla Walla wine flows right off the tongue!

Useless Wine Factoid #15

Today, screw caps are replacing corks on more than just inexpensive bottles of wine. Currently, screw caps seal 75 percent of Australian wines and 93 percent of New Zealand wines, and they’re gaining popularity in all countries, including here in the U.S.

Screw it!

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